Craigslist Real Estate Lingo Explained!

Junior One : A small apartment, the size of an actual Junior Mint

Cozy : Size of solitary confinement cell

Classic Six : Refers to an IPA six pack of beer

Estate Condition : Undertaker left his card on kitchen counter

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Exclusive Listing : Broker's mother lives here

Will Go Fast : Uninhabitable

Bright : Sixth-floor walk-up

Penthouse : Sixth-floor walk-up

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Share : Stoner roommate is four months behind on rent

Just Renovated : Just painted over mold problem

As Is : The only electric outlet is from the 1920s

Garden Apartment : Rodent superhighway

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Skylight : Stalker special

Railroad : At least a train takes you somewhere

Close to restaurants : Close to rats. Many rats.

Steps From : Hike would wear out Iditarod sleigh dog

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Hip Neighborhood : Bodega has Kale

Partially Furnished : Abandoned cat urine soaked futon on premises

Board Approval required : You can't sit with us

 

With many thanks to all who have contributed ugly apartment pictures. We feel your pain.